Thursday, 15 February 2007
Stone
Rubs his head, explores some blood deeper in hair, on his head. Looks a bit confused, like a drunk fool. Tries to move along, proceeds with small steps first, then observes the environment, turns back where he has started. Sees the dark red blood stain on the pavement. Looks around again. Wiggles and scores some unstable steps. A car passes by, very close! Does not fear, only a little surprised. Rubs his head again. Sits down the pavement. Rubs his head.
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3 comments:
i cant start at the moment, its not the time i know, but i have to.. before i throw my whole body out of the window, i need to speak out loud to someone that i didnt do it by myself. i was pushed to, i was drowned to.. he made me to.. i was away from all these..
i thought i was in peace and never gonna need anyone ever again in my life. but he sneaked into my life like i was in the need of this, i believed that i meant to be. and i became something else in the end, had addictions to different things, got different point of views, became someone else sooner than i thought i would...
Now he ran away, with all that mess, i am looking for a space to pull myself, up and down, left and right.. no way i can do this alone... but i need to speak, i need to trash all my memory, its gonna drive me nuts soon...
It used to be easier for me, to stay at home, watch tv.. now i have to check the phone in every second, stand in the freaking computer, take signs of stupid acts.. how long would that be, i cannot crumble like that, thats gonna go worse and worse i know myself. until i piece apart, it will continue. so i found a solution!
i am drunk as i continue living, i just dont measure how drunk i am when i do drink and when i dont, cuz some matters, i feel that either ways i am always something else around...
i wish i could just stop it, stop that feeling of being guilty, doing wrongs.. maybe we are unprepared drops on the universe, not really meant to be here neither meant to be back where we were belonged before...
it is creeping me today, not being able to explain the things inside my head, maybe theyre better left unsaid.. dont know still..
now there is no way that i will have moments without thoughts of yours, now there will be no alternative backing ups, reminders or shopping entertainments will keep me away from,
i will no longer listen to myself now on.. i know, i just wanted to start again, i just wanted to start over again to all...
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